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Microsoft campus has a nude jogger

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.


Will he come out again?

Stephen Brashear/Getty Images

Everyone has a way of dealing with the world around them. Some limit the stimulus to their eyes and ears and eat large packets of potato chips. Others choose to strengthen their minds and bodies, ready to battle whatever might come their way.

The latter explanation was allegedly given to police by a man who was stopped on the Microsoft campus at 3:30 a.m. on January 27. A Redmond Public Safety Facebook post[1] reveals the full glory of this man’s attempts to steel himself. It said a female police officer saw a male out for a run. “After seeing nude buttocks illuminated by a street light, she and another officer contacted the jogger, who was wearing nothing but black Sketcher sneakers,” the police added.

Illuminated nude buttocks are the sort of thing that few enjoy seeing at random. How, though, might the nude jogger have explained himself? “When questioned, he stated ‘he was trying to build up his immune system to fight the cold weather’.”

Wasn’t that entirely obvious? Sadly, the police added: “We do not have pictures to share of this incident. You are welcome.”

They don’t have pictures? Don’t they know how Facebook works? The police told me that they wouldn’t be releasing his name. “Officers immediately checked with nearby police departments to determine if any related sightings or issues had been reported and none had,” a police spokesman told me. “So he was not arrested or charged, as there were no victims and there was no other reason to legally detain him.”

Microsoft didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment. I suspect that several people will speculate as to who this man might have been. Could it have been a hardy engineer, needing to keep his body strong for the vast demands of returning Microsoft to the very peak of tech?

Or could it have been an imperious senior executive, sweating away in the full belief that he was wearing shorts and shirt, as well as his fetching Skechers?

Technically Literate[2]: Original works of short fiction with unique perspectives on tech, exclusively on CNET.

Solving for XX[3]: The industry seeks to overcome outdated ideas about “women in tech.”

References

  1. ^ A Redmond Public Safety Facebook post (www.facebook.com)
  2. ^ Technically Literate (www.cnet.com)
  3. ^ Solving for XX (www.cnet.com)

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